Ignorance is bliss. 

It’s 4:46 in the morning, I haven’t slept at all, I drank perhaps a little too much earlier, and I’m completely restless. As I’m slowly sobering up and listening to my clock tick endlessly in this painfully quiet night I’m recollecting my thoughts about certain aspects of myself. 

I like to be in denial. I like not knowing certain things. It makes me feel strangely good for some reason. When I got my final grades for this past fall semester I know I did well in three out of the four courses I took. The one I didn’t do so well I probably got a C or even a D depending on my final exam grade. I checked my grades for all my other classes except that one class and went straight into vacation mode not worrying about any classes during my break. What holds me back from checking is the disappointment of receiving anything lower than a C and because it’s somewhat possible. I don’t want to get my hopes high and check and actually do get a D and feel disappointed all break thinking about what I should have done. Instead I choose to remain selfish and ignore the inevitable by feeling like everything is okay for once even if it’s possible it’s not because I just want to feel human for a month or so before I get shoved back into the harsh face of reality. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s