Happy Holidays, Where’s the Tylenol?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Getting Seasonal.”

The holiday season: can’t get enough of it, or can’t wait for it all to be over already? Has your attitude toward the end-of-year holidays changed over the years?

When I was a kid of course I absolutely couldn’t wait for the holidays to come, Christmas was practically a count down to the best day in the world.

I got older, things were changing, my family was changing, and I was certainly changing. The so called “holiday joy” wasn’t exactly as joyous as I remembered it being. As the years went by I just expected less and less from every one.

I’m in college and I do still love the end of year holidays, with my long winter break after the semester how could I complain about it? It’s just that the holidays are less exciting. Christmas is just opening up a few gifts, eat some food, and that’s basically it. New year’s is stay up til midnight for the big event, wish everyone a happy new year with hugs, drink a little, and that’s it.

My family is kind of old I guess so we don’t expect to do so much. So mostly now, I guess you can say, it’s not the holidays that I can’t get enough of, it’s the relaxing break that I can’t get enough of.

Dreams pt. 2

I had this dream that I was at a library with one of my best friends. We were about to leave and then I see one of my ex best friends, which is also sort of my best friend’s ex best friend as well(there’s a little less tension between them two vs me) so then she comes in the library and immediately starts talking to my friend and then suddenly drags her away to some other place or store. I tried going in the place they were in, but my ex best friend wouldn’t let me in. I was talking through the door to her and I was saying somewhere between the lines of “why are you doing this? why do you hate me? I got over that argument that we had that cost us our friendship a long time ago and I already forgave you. I don’t hate you, I never did.” we were both yelling at each other through the door she wouldn’t let me in, she started turning red and soon she began to cry. My friend stood there watching her and then watched me to see what I was going to do next. I looked at her crying waiting for her to do something. She opens the door and goes up to me and asks me if I was serious, I said yes. She then says that she has questions and needs answers and I said I’ll give you all the answers you need. And after that she sort of hugged me. Soon after we all calmed down she started asking questions and I gave her the answers. She accepted them and I guess things were finally okay.

It was such a dramatic, emotional dream and it felt like one of the longest dreams I’ve ever had. I don’t know why I dream of these things, the ways things are with that ex best friend aren’t really anything and I don’t really think about her at all actually. And to dream that was just odd and surprising. Despite what’s happened between us, do I still want to be friends? yes. Does she? maybe not.

Time For A Break.

This week was finals week and I finished all of my finals on Wednesday. Never have I been so happy and so relieved to be done with this semester. I had a very bad spring 2014 semester which in turn made me highly unmotivated for the upcoming fall semester. I took the whole summer off to recover and told myself that it is okay if I had a bad semester, people have their bad semesters and that I will pick myself up and try again and work harder in the fall.

Working hard and trying is exactly what I did this fall semester. I finally got my confidence back little by little and started doing well in school. School was still tough, I spent a lot of time studying and reading rather than just laying around not doing anything productive. I couldn’t wait for this semester to be over and done with so that I could finally go home and have a much needed break from school. I was and just so am immensely happy to come home knowing that I did so much better than the last semester and I finally feel satisfied and happy with myself for once in a long time.

I walked into a black hole and was lost, but now I’m crawling out of it.