A Bad Spring

I remember when I felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. It was around the middle of the spring semester, I was taking two science classes, three labs, and a math course. My main focus were the science classes since it is crucial to my major. I was usually gone in the mid morning through the late afternoon. I’d get about roughly 4-6 hours of sleep per night, if I slept, due to studying, doing homework, etc. On top of my school stress, I felt very lonely most of the time. My roommate was gone a lot, sometimes we wouldn’t talk but a few mere words some days and it would make me feel somewhat sad cause I’d really want to talk but didn’t want to force her to talk to me. I only have a few other friends I talk to that I would go to when there was tension, but I got tired of always going to them and felt like a burden sometimes telling them about what was going on. So basically I felt abandoned. I didn’t like the way things were going in my life, it was affecting my mental health. I’d go outside and sit on a bench and think, “What the hell am I doing with my life?” all the time. My grades were slipping, my friendship felt diminishing, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t want to deal with any of it any longer. At that point I just wanted to drop everything and leave and go home and forget about it. It took months for me to cope with the loneliness but I finally got passed through it and just worried about myself for once. For sure I won’t let this happen to myself again and endure all the pain all over again. I’m just going to focus on myself.

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